BABY ADVICE - Advice for babies, by a baby. You can thank me later.
Laugh at Daddies. A lot. They eat that stuff up. This can work to a baby's advantage. Particularly if you pull the maneuver after keeping Daddies up at night or sharing your semi-digested formula with them. I have found that my Daddy in particular, is a big fan of the wavy arm smile. I save this charmer for when I have big poops in my diaper that Dad has to take care of.
Daddies are an interesting phenomenon. Funny, yet serious. Sometimes my Dad and me have staring contests. He's really good at them, but see, it's not that fair because he has approximately 31 years more experience than me at this eye control business. But still, I play anyway. I usually concede to his superior staring power when I feel like he's starting to wonder when I'll get a job. That's a battle for another time. This baby has no time for that stuff right now. I have found that when having staring contests with Dads, it helps to look a little bit clueless. They get less competetive that way.
Pssst - You may have to click on this photo to biggify it and read my shirt, so you'll understand where I'm coming from with my next bit of advice.
Ahem, anyway. Be proud of your bad baby self. Don't be afraid to flaunt it if you've got it. Toot your own horn, often and with reckless abandon. Someday, you will be all growed up, and it will be less adorable to brag so unabashedly about yourself.
It seems to me that Mommies like to take pictures. This is what they do. In addition to lots of other stuff, like wiping babies' butts and playing This Little Piggy. Sometimes being the subject of so many photos can leave a little baby feeling pressured to be entertaining. I have found, in my weeks of experience, that if I don't particularly feel up to being dynamic, I can simply give Mom a confounded look, like the one above, and she thinks it's totally cute. Not much energy expelled on my part, big, silly smiles on Mom's part. Everyone is content.
Public Service Announcement to Babies Everywhere! Mommies? Are totally suckers for all hoody outfits sporting bear ears. They just LOVE this stuff! So much so that when babies are dressed in these outfits they are easily and quickly forgiven for even the most serious of transgressions, like maybe spitting up on Mommy's shirt right before she's about to take you to the nice daycare lady's house and go to that place where she makes money and stuff. WORK the ears, dudes and dudettes. I cannot stress this enough.
Peace out my baby brothers and sisters. May your bottle or boob be full and your diaper empty.
You rock in the hooded bear jacket! Maybe soon you can try jumping on Daddy's lap while laughing (although for some reason he tells me to watch where I am kicking), or when you stick your tongue out to them...they think it's cute! I will give you all the good pointers cousin. Love you.
About Me: I'm my Mom's and Dad's kid. Apparently, they've been waiting on me for a while and didn't have the best of luck getting me here. I'm the miracle baby that hung around after my Mom had three miscarriages and then was put on bedrest at five months pregnant for fear she was losing me, too. But, now I'm here and they really dig me. I dig them, too. It's cool.
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You rock in the hooded bear jacket! Maybe soon you can try jumping on Daddy's lap while laughing (although for some reason he tells me to watch where I am kicking), or when you stick your tongue out to them...they think it's cute! I will give you all the good pointers cousin. Love you.